Every year I think about making a New Years Resolution and I never do because frankly my will power sucks. I have been thinking a lot about this lately and have made the executive decision that this year I am making a change…this year I will in fact, make a resolution. I reflected on the last year and realized my successes and my defeats and assessed the areas that needed some work.
In 2008, I worked and went to school full-time. The two of these in combination has really drained me, both physically and mentally. I will FINALLY graduate from college in May of 2009 and hopefully having my degree will benefit my professional life. If it does not benefit my professional life at the company I am currently with, it will benefit me at another organization. I have strived to do the best I can, and while this does go unrecognized by many, I know deep down that I have come a long way professionally over the course of the year. So, this area of my life I am content with at this point.
In May of 2008 I made the decision that my weight was becoming an issue and I wasn’t happy with the person I was physically becoming. With work and school the gym was just too hard to fit in so I knew I needed to make changes in other areas. I knew that my will power was not strong enough to lose the weight on my own so I sought the help of a nutritionist. I have an issue with feeling like I let people down so having someone there that I felt I had to answer to helped me tremendously. I cut back on the fries and soda and began a relationship with healthier foods and water. Over the last six months I have successfully dropped 25 pounds and I am very happy with myself. I still have just a few pounds to go but this area is also one that I feel I have control of.
With the economy in a crunch I have found that over the course of this year my debt had compounded into something that I am very disappointed with. There is no real reason that my husband and I should have debt, besides the mortgage and car payments but we somehow managed to outdo ourselves. I have a budget set that I use to guide me in the payment of the bills but the extra cash from a paycheck gets spent. Granted I did have to buy a new wardrobe this year from the weight loss the amount of debt is simply unacceptable to me.
The other area that I want to focus on is how to be a good parent. My husband and I do not have children of our own but in June 2009 his son will be coming to live with us. He will be 14 years old when he moves in with us and after spending the Christmas holiday with him I have realized that my parenting skills…well, the suck! I have a hard time telling him “no” and that doesn’t help the debt situation mentioned above. My husband and I have already discussed his allowance and the things he will have to do to get the full amount each week and when he doesn’t do what he is supposed to how much will get deducted. We have also decided that he will open a savings account and a specified percentage of each week’s allowance will go into savings so that when there is something he really wants he can purchase it. We would like to teach him some better money management skills that we have! I also tend to have a low tolerance for ridiculous behavior, which apparently is something that most teenagers do. I need to learn to deal with situations in a more effective manner and my husband and I also have very different discipline styles. My husband is a drill instructor in the Navy so he is pretty straight forward and has a handle on discipline, but he is a yeller. I, on the other hand, tend to be soft. I want his son to like me (which he does) and I don’t want him to tell his mom anything bad about me…but, I do realize that this is no way to raise a child.
So, for 2009 I am making two resolutions….
- Work out a budget so that we can pay off some debt during 2009 and be more financially stable.
- Become a good parent who offers structure, guidance, love and support.
That’s my plans for 2009…is anyone else making a resolution this year?
I am having a realization…and I need to write about it.
I live 4.5 hours from where I grew up. This is the closest I have been in 6 years since marrying a man in the military. I have been home less in the last year than when we lived 14 hours away. Between work and school and the first ever vacation the hubs and I have ever taken I haven’t had the time to go home. Now that the holidays are approaching I feel HORRIBLE about it! I have a relative that is fighting a vicious battle with cancer and my cousin (his daughter) and I are very close and I want to be there for her and I can’t. My grandmother who means the world to me fell off a step ladder a few weeks ago and couldn’t even get up to walk (she is getting better day by day). My husband being active duty gets 30 days of leave a year as opposed to my 2 weeks of vacation! So, this year we took a vacation just the two of us which we have never done before. We had a great time but now that I look back on it, I wish I would have saved my time to go home to my family. I saved one day for the day after Christmas so we could spend 5 days at home…but that just isn’t good enough for me! Maybe it’s because my husband is there now…with MY family, hunting with my grandfather and visiting with everyone that I miss more than words can tell. I have dear friends in Japan, England and Georgia who I want to see more than I can begin to tell you but my family is my life. These are the people that raised me and taught me right from wrong and I miss them. My realization came when I realized that my husband was leaving to go be with my family and frankly…I am jealous! Jealous that he is there while I am at home taking care of everything. With everything going on I also realized that I miss my husband dearly when he is way. I wish he was here with me…better yet I wish we were with my family at the same time. We may fight and bicker about stupid meaningless shit but I love that man more than I can say. He’s an incredible individual and I have realized that without him I would not be able to make it away from my family. He has become my family and he has provided me with security to know that I can do anything I want. More than anything he has given me unconditional love…just like I was raised with! No, he’s not like my dad or anything creepy like that…he’s someone I can confide in and he is my best friend. He worries about me and he cares about my thoughts and opinions. Having him away has made me realize that sometimes I may take what he provides me with for granted. I just hope he knows that I love him more than anything and I really can’t imagine where I would be without him.
So, another late evening for me. I can't seem to get my brain to shut off at the appropriate time. I have so much on my mind and more just keeps getting added to it. I am tired and I just don't know how much longer I can function. There is so much to say, but I can't seem to get the words to come together. I think I'm going to free write until I fall asleep and hope that something comes out.
Hello bloggers, I am still here. I was doing updates last year on my friend
Moncia, who was battling cancer for all she was worth. I figured I would
share with you guys, that she passed away last night, surrounded by her
family and friends.
Someone told me today, that they thought it was just so unfair that this
happened to Monica. She always had a big smile on her face, even through the
rough times.....That person said "I could think of so many people who were
more deserving than her.."
I dont know if I feel that way, because I dont want to wish sickness on
anyone, but that saying "the good die young" has never been more true to me
than it is now.
Please say a prayer for her family and her close friends, so many people
loved her and were touched by her, RIP Monica...
Ok, so hello, I've been out of commission with the blogging thing since
February. Mainly because I have had so much going on, here is a summary:
- Carson is running wild! Into everything, throwing fits, talking, babble
babble babble.....
- Jameson is so busy with sports and school that all we do is collapse and
try to do it again each day when we get home!
- Hubby has been out of town for weeks at a time at various schools this
year
- Our chocolate lab is preggers, our yellow lab knocked her up, she is due
in a few weeks. Puppies anyone? They will be adorable and FREE! (yes, we're
irresponsible pet owners) but, we have always kept them separate, to be
honest, one of the kids let them out when she went into heat. So, SUE US! It
is the circle of life, that is what happens.... at least we'll place the
puppies in good homes, no breeding here!
- I have been working alot, a whole bunch of after hours events, meetings
and functions
- My boss is retiring after 30 years
- My new boss in our in house attorney and I am so excited about working
under him
- Politics politics politics everywhere I go......getting old, that is all I
can say about that
and the BIG BIG NEWS!
Hubby and I have ordered house plans and have been working with a
contractor. Hopefully the bank process will not be as painful as it is
beginning to sound, but with the market where it is, banks are really
reluctant to lend. Our home is very conservative/traditional with a little
colonial flavor too! I am so excited about it, but terrified all at the same
time. One of these days I hope to be blogging pics of the construction
process, but for now, I'll be hammering it out with the banks.
So, maybe now I have a good excuse for being absent. I am glad to see you
guys are all alive and well!
Hope your little ones are bringing you as much joy as mine bring me!
I find that every single day I think about how much money T and I spend on gas in a month. I mean really…it's just stupid! We bought this huge diesel pick-up truck to pull our four-wheelers (when diesel was cheaper). In his truck alone we spend $110 per fill up…granted we are only filling up every other week. So that’s' $220 per month in diesel if he only drives to and from work! Add in a four wheeling trip and we're at $330 a month. Then we have my car…which gets decent gas mileage but I drive 25 miles each way to and from work. It's been running me $70 a week to fill up my car….putting us at $280 a month just to fuel my car! So, right now we are spending an average of $610 per month on gas…it's absolutely ridiculous! If gas is going to continue to increase in cost then compensation needs to be increased accordingly! My raise this year amounted to about $20 a week which doesn't even begin to cover the extra I am paying for gas. T's raise was craptastic as well (thank you U.S. Government for screwing your service men and women once again).
So many people have told me that we should downsize our vehicles and get something smaller and more fuel efficient. Should we have to change our lifestyle because gas prices are ridiculous? If we downsize our vehicles that means we won't have anything to haul four-wheelers with and we won't have anything suitable for transporting two German Sheppard’s in. What so you suggest now….selling the four wheelers and getting rid of the dogs? If you really even consider that to be an option you’re an f'in idiot!
We have a commuter train station about a mile or so from the house. T mentioned riding his bike to the train station in the mornings and taking the train to work (the train stops right outside the gate to the base). The problem with this is that the train does not always stop in the town we live in so his schedule options are very limited. T does not work a 'normal' shift…he's a drill commander. Sometimes he leaves the house at 4am and doesn't return until 10pm…it just depends on the day. So, for this reason the train really isn't an option for him. The train that stops in the town I work in is on a different line than the one by the house. I could take the train to a neighboring city but then how do I get to work from there? It costs a damn fortune to take cab so that won't work. My company has talked about having a shuttle run from this stop but apparently this isn’t happening because we haven't received any correspondence on it.
I'm just frustrated, so very frustrated! We are trying to save money and pay off some bills but we aren't getting ahead at all because we spend so much money on gas! Oh…and since gas prices have gone up so have prices on everything else...can't we just get a break? My husband actually said to me the other day, "The first Presidential candidate that says they are going to lower gas prices is getting my vote." This shocked me coming from a die hard Republican! I really think that the state of the economy is getting the best of everyone!
NOTE: Last evenign we went through our bank statement and figured out what we spend on gas in April...are you ready for this....$673!!!!!! I about shit my pants! And then this morning on my way to work I noticed that gas has officially hit the over $4.00/gallon mark!
I have been pretty much feeling like an idiot for the last two weeks. I can't seem to do anything right. I have no idea where I put my car keys, I don't know where my favorite shirt is, I can't remember how much I spent at the grocery store, etc. I can't focus at work and my work is suffering because of it. I like a guy...but I don't think he likes me as much (and now is not talking to me for some reason). All of this shit running through my head. I can't sleep. I'm an emotional eater, so I have been eating like crap. This morning, I stepped on my headband that I must have thrown on the floor last night. It broke and jammed into my foot, so I have a huge gash in my foot. As I was blow drying my hair this morning, the extension cord burst into sparks and flames. I get to work and I have a report that someone is now officially pissed that they don't have. Someone just shoot me and put me out of my misery.
Continuation of my post from yesterday...
Tuesday (Will this conference eat me alive?)
Tuesday was the first day of the actual conference. Today I managed to actually show up a half hour before the conference registration was to begin, so that I could get a seat. I actually had a seat at a table and was able to log on to work and be online to pull up references, etc. Today we had speakers from the European chemicals agency (ECHA), the European Commission, the UK Competent Authority, a Chemical Agency, EPA and other government types. This was actually very informative, a lot of information, but very good. I have found that this is going to be quite a challenge. I felt a little less intimidated today. I ended up befriending another woman at the conference and we had dinner at a cute little place called Café Luna in Dupont Circle. It was nice to talk to someone who was in a situation similar to mine. Then it was back to the hotel for some much needed sleep. It’s amazing how these conferences can be so draining.
Wednesday (The Last Day – or so I thought)
Wednesday was a great day as it was a chance to hear what is going on the industry side of the directive compliance. It was nice to hear that others are in a similar situation. That they also feel the directive is not very “cut and dry” and that there are far too many things still left undecided. About 9:00 AM I get an instant message from one of my co-workers that American Airlines has cancelled over 500 flights. I whip out my itinerary, send her the flight number and yes, folks…my flight has been cancelled. My company pays a travel agent to sit in our building…but she is not helpful at all. My co-worker went down there to see if she could get me on another flight, but all she did is snap at her and tell her that I am booked on flight for Thursday and that there were no other flights out. Of course, that got me all riled up, so I called the main travel agency and asked them to help me. The girl stated that Jennifer was in the office today, and I informed her that apparently Jennifer was too busy to help me. Yes, they found someone to help me. I ended up staying the night and booking my own hotel. I had a 10AM flight the next morning on American. I went to dinner, got back to the room about 10PM and found out that my flight for the next morning had been cancelled too. I immediately called the travel agency and got booked on a United flight that left later in the day. Unfortunately, they wouldn’t assign me a seat, so I was worried that I wasn’t going to get on that flight either. I finally fell asleep around 1AM and got up at 7AM.
Thursday (Will I make it home or not?)
Thursday was a challenge…just from my shear exhaustion and fear of not getting out of DC. I know…I should be glad to not be at work. The problem is, when I am not there, the work does not stop. So, while I have been out this week, the work has continued to pile up…not to mention that my co-workers have ants in their pants about when I’m going to be back. I did finally get out of DC on a United flight, but we got to circle outside of O’hare airspace for awhile due to high wind gusts. I arrived home at 4:30 and I went to bed at 6PM and got up at 5AM. I am home safe and sound and got to sleep in my own bed.
Oh DC…how I did enjoy you, but how I did enjoy the comforts of my own bed. Chicago is my home, but DC is a great place to visit…just don’t fly American.
Kristine chose the topic of BAD for today's SPF. This is not a picutre I took...simply because they were all out of service for repair. I have had an interesting week due to the issue surrounding the repair of the American Airlines MD-S80 airplanes. Lack of sleep and stress over how I was going to get home from Washington DC has exhausted me. So here is my idea of bad this week:
I have been trying to get to this post all week. It has been a hell of week...where to start? Here is a perfect example...I was supposed to be on an 8:10 flight back to O'hare this evening and I'm still here. With that...let's start at the beginning.
Sunday
I was running so late. I was worried I wouldn't make my flight. I left my house at 4AM (after no sleep), had to drive to work, then be at the airport by 5:30 AM. I was on the shuttle from the extended parking lot by 5:25AM, I don't know how I did it, but I did. I had enough time to grab a soda and some gummy lifesavers for the flight. I really wanted a coffee, but lately my stomach gets funny when I fly, so I need to have something sweet (hence the gummy lifesavers) and water or diet soda. When I left Chicago, it was a balmy 50 degrees (at 6:30 AM)...when I arrived in DC, it was 43 degrees and rainy. UGH!
I was at my hotel by 10 AM and checked my bag with the concierge to head out for a day of sightseeing. Unbeknownst to me, it was the traditional Cherry Blossom Marathon, so the tour was running about 2 hours behind schedule. There I sat in the rain for 45 minutes waiting for the tour bus. Fortunately, it was just one of those annoying misty rains and not a torrential downpour. I rode the bus for about 3 hours, did the whole loop and then Arlington Cemetery. I was so exhasuted I almost fell asleep on the bus twice. When the bus returned from Arlington, I got off at the National Museum of the American Indian. If you have never been there...it is beautiful and worth a visit. I will have pictures posted to my flickr site as soon as I am back in Chicago (I grabbed the wrong cord).
I left the Museum around 5:00 and headed back to the hotel. I was so exhausted, I fell asleep and didn' wake up until 8:30PM. I just didn't feel much like doing anything, so I ordered pizza and did my monthly report for work. I turned in for the evening around 11:00PM, as I knew Monday would be a taxing day.
Monday (AKA Preconference Day from Hell)
The reason I am in DC is for a conference on EU chemical regulation...with special emphasis on the REACH directive. For those who may read this and have no idea what the heck I am talking about...it is a directive in Europe (which is equivalent to a law in the US) that states that any chemicals being imported in the Europe must be registered. There is a lot more to it than that...but trust me, you don't want to know. The meeting began at 9:30 AM, so I figured that if I arrived at 9:00 or so, that I would be fine....well, I wasn't. The meeting was overbooked and they didn't have enough seats, so I ended up at some odd seats on the side, limited internet access and pretty much felt like I was left out of the discussion.
Well, after listening to all these people talk, I pretty much felt like I was completely unprepared for this directive and that I was the dumbest person in the room. This exhausted me. So, I spent the entire day feeling like an idiot, getting conflicting stories on what the directive actually states and to top it off, I got a huge blister from my shoes.
After the session, I limped my way across the street into the CVS for some band-aids and then to the Elephant and Castle pub for a healthy dose of Smithwicks and some pub food. I then hauled myself back up the hill to my hotel and crashed for the evening.
To be continued...(I have to go and catch a plane...hopefully)
